The Banana Report #2 - November 1998
The recent mission of the space shuttle Discovery with 72 year old, first man in space, John Glenn aboard has been critisized by many as being nothing more than a PR stunt to raise money and interest in the flagging NASA space program. When questioned about this, John Glenn said "Buy Pepsi Cola!".
American President Bill Clinton said the space shuttle launch was a "Victory for American Democracy". Someone forgot to tell him the cold war is over and that capitalism won. Meanwhile in a related story, Boris Yeltsin is drunk somewhere.
Ally MacBeal actress Calista Flockheart is going on another diet after being accidently mistaken for a broom stick. In a statement she said "I am not as fat as a broom" and went on to deny having an eating disorder because "In the past, I have eaten. And I do continue to eat on occasion."
Another Quebec election is taking place later this month, in which Quebecoi will decide if they wish to re-elect a party which may decide to hold a referendum which may ask if Quebec might want to suceed from Canada sometime in the future. In a related story, Wall Street stockbrokers are suggesting investors buy shares in Red Tape, because that's all Democracy is good at creating.
The second most famous landmark in Australia (next to Azaria Chamberlaine's place of execution), the Sydney Opera House celebrated it's 25th Anniversary this week with even more renovations and a free concert. This prestigious, glamarous and elegant structure has not always been as admired. When it first opened in 1973, British-Australian critic Clive James refered to it as "a typewriter full of oyster shells", which he has since retracted because his 25 year old typewriter is not falling to bits and sinking into the harbour.
News Flash: Australians spell the word Harbour, "Harbour" (not Harbor). Do not adjust your sets... err... whatever.
The hit broadway musical RENTis about to open in Australia, however it will be slightly altered compared to the American version. Instead of feverishly trying to raise the rent money, the group of adolescents decide to go to the beach and drink beer, while waiting for their Austudy payment from the government.
With Christmas fast approaching here are some of the predicted big sellers on toy store shelves for this silly season.