You know the guy. He's slightly bald, wearing shabby clothes, walks around selling ridiculously expensive hand-made, i-don't-know-what-you-even-call-them... bracelets or something. He's been walking around near the cinemas for the durations of my conscious existence. I've never even seen someone even take an interest in those skanky things let alone buy one. Maybe he's like that dude from King of Kong, except instead of video games his passion is making really shitty bracelets, and it doesn't mater if no-one buys em. What's with that guy?

If Futuristic London was the home to Ultra-Violence in Stanley Kubrick's masterpiece A Clockwork Orange, then Sydney really is the home to Under-Violence.

America, and hell even Canada these days, has school yard shooting in which dozens of people are shot dead. Spain, London and even Bali have incidents involving exploding trains and planes destorying skyscrapers. And what does Sydney have? Baseball bat wielding losers going on a window smashing school yard rampage, and some kid in a McDonalds car park shining a Chinatown-bought laser pointer at some planes (or a "LASER ATTACK!" as the Telegraph calls it). Hell, even in the relatively serene South Pacific we're an island of bliss compared to Honeymoon destinations like coup-riffic Fiji!

So, to make Sydney more internationally compeditive I suggest we introduce "Stab-a-man hour". It will be like Earth Hour except, well you can guess.