Seriously, most of the fun nights I've had in my twenties have somehow involved this man in some way, as DJ, organiser or generally just the glue holding it all together. He's just always there. No matter where you are - a crazy warehouse party, an illegal beach party, a rowdy pub, a bush party, a crazy gallery opening, Health Club - you just turn around and he gives you a high-five. He's ubiquitously Sydney.

You know the guy. He's slightly bald, wearing shabby clothes, walks around selling ridiculously expensive hand-made, i-don't-know-what-you-even-call-them... bracelets or something. He's been walking around near the cinemas for the durations of my conscious existence. I've never even seen someone even take an interest in those skanky things let alone buy one. Maybe he's like that dude from King of Kong, except instead of video games his passion is making really shitty bracelets, and it doesn't mater if no-one buys em. What's with that guy?

Lock up your DVD players and laptops - cheap heroin is back in Sydney! First we had grunge, then recently it seemed like House music is back, and now it seems like one more early 90s retro kick is back - cheap smack.

The dirtiest of the skank drugs, heroin has always fit in nicely in Sin-City - we just aren't rich enough New Yorkers to enjoy coke habits and despite the beaches and climate, aren't chilled out to be a weed culture. If Sydney were a drug it would be this or ice really.

How do I know? My lady friend and I discovered a junkie passed out in the grounds of Glebe Public School the other day, lying flat as a tack with hit fit next to him. Awesome, they leave dangerous needles lying around for kids and then vomit. And i learnt a valuable lesson that day: let sleeping junkies lay.

Expect to see more tracksuits on the streets of Sydney soon - just not in the Urban Style columns.

EDIT: I saw a guy "on the nod" over a plate of calamari at the Shakespeare in Surry Hills the other night - Sydney's new millennium junkies sure have come a long was in sophistication since the chicko rollls of the 1980s, that's for sure!

Congregating around the more affluent suburbs of Balmain and the Lower North Shore, Sydney's Yummy Mummys are recognised by their designer maternity wear, their industrial strength strollers that cost more than most second-hand cars, and the fact they aren't at work during the day.

Are these the model wives of multi-millionaire bankers and stock brokers? Or just the model wives of millionaire lawyers and solicitors? We'll never know.

And if you work in a cafe, they'll order a coffee in a way you've never imagined possible before: with half the milk soy and luke warm, half cold skim and the coffee half decaf, with the foam not too thick.