With the current shitstorm about the Melbourne Storm breaching their salary cap and losing all their trophys filling our airwaves it's worth noting that really, no else in the country (let alone the world) probably cares. Ever try explaning the state-by-state break down of our football codes to an American? Their eyes glaze over like a Dunkin donut and they the subject soon changes to Superbowl half time shows. The whole idea of a salary cap in the land of the free is a concept about as foreign as universal healthcare or nationalised public broadcasting.

In Melbourne too, no one probably cares. I bet it's on page 14 in The Age, next to the ad for a new slow-core, shoe-gazing post-folk gig at the community cafe latte gallery (with potato cakes) - accessible by privatised public transport.

Rugby League is a predominantly New South Welshmans infatuation (the league itself was called the NSWRL up until as recently as 1994), and the rest of the country is pretty much Aussie Rules dominated (except with the World Cup is on, and then we all love football football - or soccer as Americans call it).

And with a second Sydney AFL team on the way, the Melbourne Storm fiasco could possibly send a lot of League converts back to other codes in all the southern states. So get ready for a return of the North Sydney Bears! And heaven forbid The Footy Show and Matty Johns might have to actually say something for a change!

Keep loving your Rugby League Sydneysiders, you're the only ones.

The best thing about Rugby League remains Tina Turner's brief infatuation with the sport in 1989/1990 as demonstrated in this spontaneous show of appreciation:

And Rugby League player aren't known for their political stances either, as Mal Meninga shows us:

While Melbourne had Nadal and Federer battling it out in the final of a sweltering Australian Open Tennis final this summer - Sydney invented a brand new type of sport. A craze that for two days at least, was sweeping the Harbour city: Shark Fighting!

In early February there were two near-deadly shark attacks in our fine city, two days in a row. One was actually in the harbour, against a navy diver who was believed to be involved in a counter terrorism exercise. If anything, having live sharks in the harbour will arguably protect our battle ships against USS Cole type attacks better than anything the navy could possibly come up with. I don't see Al Qaeda wanting to fight sharks anytime soon. The diver punched the shark a couple of times and escaped needing surgery to his thigh and hand.

The very next day Sydney's iconic Bondi beach was the target of a daring dusk attack which left a surfer with a horribly wounded arm, and he was rushed to hospital. As the attack happened at 7:30pm, i.e. well past "beer o'clock" for Aussie film crews, we unfortunately have to assume that the Bondi Rescue documentary crew had already gone home and it won't wind up on next season of the hit show.

So, take that Paris, Tokyo, New York and London - we invented a new sport this summer!

Okay okay okay, so the bits of the Beijing Olympics Opening Ceremony i saw out of the corner of my eye in the pub last night were pretty damn impressive i have to admit. But let's not forget the Sydney Olympics, its Opening ceremony and how uniquely Sydney they were.

Sure Beijing has a rotating 3D multimedia globe with cascading aerialists, thousands of glowing percussionists, perfect military-like synchronisity and the world's largest 3D LCD keyboard, like the one Tom Hanks played in Big (but with little chinese people popping out).

But we had lawnmowers, mambo shirts and hills hoists. Also compared to Beijing, one thing that was uniquely Australian about the Sydney Olympics was our little slices of non-comformity and protest. Remember all the volunteer geniuses wearing Triple J t-shirts trying to win a publicity competition? Midnight Oil wearing Sorry Suits in direct defiance of the attending Prime Minister? Nikki Webster turning into a smarmy mole? The torch almost not lighting and being stuck halfway up a waterfall, but getting there in the end.

Yes, the Sydney Olympics were great and very Sydney. And look at the great legacy we have: great public transport and... errr... a fuck off big stadium. And Fatso the Fat Arsed Wombat. Viva 2000!

Okay, so a fifth of the way through and about time i mentioned a sports related "thing i love about Sydney".

To live in Sydney, you have to love the Sydney Swans, even if, deep down, you realise they suck and you wish you lived in Melbourne so you could at least chose a half decent AFL team to go for. But that might be just about to change, with news that the AFL is looking into installing a team into Western Sydney (The Mullets? You can keep that one!), our city could become a lot more competitive in the world of AFL.

If you live in Sydney and have never seen the Swans play then for shame on you. Just today i saw them get thrashed by the Bulldogs at the SCG, and might i say, there's no better way to spend a sunny Autumn Sunday afternoon. Sure, winning would have been nice, but have you seen the Swans play lately? That would be asking for a miracle.

If Futuristic London was the home to Ultra-Violence in Stanley Kubrick's masterpiece A Clockwork Orange, then Sydney really is the home to Under-Violence.

America, and hell even Canada these days, has school yard shooting in which dozens of people are shot dead. Spain, London and even Bali have incidents involving exploding trains and planes destorying skyscrapers. And what does Sydney have? Baseball bat wielding losers going on a window smashing school yard rampage, and some kid in a McDonalds car park shining a Chinatown-bought laser pointer at some planes (or a "LASER ATTACK!" as the Telegraph calls it). Hell, even in the relatively serene South Pacific we're an island of bliss compared to Honeymoon destinations like coup-riffic Fiji!

So, to make Sydney more internationally compeditive I suggest we introduce "Stab-a-man hour". It will be like Earth Hour except, well you can guess.